Tag Archive: Frank Welker

The Cat In The Hat

0 (out of 5) It’s rather difficult to decide what’s the worst aspect of this dreadful adaptation of the popular Dr. Seuss novel. Could it be the painfully queasy production design that seems… Continue reading

Rate this:

Mirror Mirror

BBB (out of 5) Another reimagining of a fairy tale, this one looking to rehabilitate the passivity of Snow White in much the same way that Snow White And The Huntsman did the… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996)

BBB (out of 5) Beautifully animated but overly serious Disney film loosely based on the classic Victor Hugo novel. The Hunchback (voiced by Tom Hulce) is now a lovable, cuddly guy living at… Continue reading

Rate this:

Buddy

BBBB (out of 5) Gertrude Davies Lintz (Rene Russo), upon whose autobiography Animals Are My Hobby this beautiful family film is based, is a rich east coast socialite who has populated her mansion… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Back-up Plan

0 (out of 5) Every once in a while, you see a romantic comedy that makes you want to poke your eyes out with hot irons and cut your ears off with a… Continue reading

Rate this:

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock

BBBB.5 (out of 5) Explaining this film’s plot involves giving away the ending of Part II, so if you don’t want me to spoil it for you then just take my word that… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Gun In Betty Lou’s Handbag

BB.5 (out of 5) Silly little comedy that begins with a mostly believable premise. Penelope Ann Miller feels so ignored by the people around her, including her distracted husband (Eric Thal), that she pretends… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Shadow

BB.5 (out of 5) Alec Baldwin plays the lead character, a superhero originally born on a famous radio program decades ago. The Shadow is a former druglord in the Far East who reforms, thanks… Continue reading

Rate this:

Hudson Hawk

BB (out of 5) You’re better off watching a spoof of action movies like Hot Shots than watching a lame action film that tries to be funny and never succeeds. Bruce Willis plays… Continue reading

Rate this:

Anaconda

B (out of 5) Laughably bad horror movie has documentarian Jennifer Lopez lead a crew through the Amazon only to have her trip interrupted by a giant river snake that eats her employees whole.… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Chipmunk Adventure

BBB (out of 5) Before they would be computer generated and shrunk to actual woodland size, the Chipmunk gang hit the big screen with an animated adventure inspired by their television show. Not… Continue reading

Rate this:

Jumanji

BB (out of 5) Plodding children’s movie has Robin Williams and Bonnie Hunt reunite after being childhood friends many years before, reopening a dangerous exotic board game that features wild animals. The game comes to… Continue reading

Rate this:

Deep Blue Sea

BBB (out of 5) Hilarious horror movie about a research laboratory in the middle of the ocean that is studying Mako sharks with genetically augmented brains for Alzheimer’s research purposes. Things look fine… Continue reading

Rate this:

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

BBBB (out of 5) Delightfully faithful adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ children’s classic story, about a villain who steals Christmas from the unsuspecting peaceful residents of Whoville because they treat him with fear and… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Smurfs

BB.5 (out of 5) Peyo’s comic strip creations, which hit the pop culture mill when they became a Saturday morning cartoon in the eighties, have finally made their way to the big screen… Continue reading

Rate this:

Scooby-Doo

BB.5 (out of 5) Silly, mostly forgettable adaptation of the classic Hanna Barbera cartoon series of the late sixties/early seventies isn’t nearly as dreadful as 1994’s The Flintstones, and even manages a few… Continue reading

Rate this:

New York Minute

BB.5 (out of 5) The Olson twins have grown up and become ladies in this impressively stupid comedy, which they also co-produced. While one of them (I don’t know which one’s which, so… Continue reading

Rate this:

Pocahontas

BB.5 (out of 5) Disney dud that is generally boring except for a few good songs. Captain John Smith (Mel Gibson) lands in America with Sir Walter Raleigh’s team in order to find… Continue reading

Rate this:

Godzilla (1998)

BBBB (out of 5) Fans of the original Japanese Godzilla movies are advised to steer well clear of this action adventure. It’s a great thrill ride of a movie, but it’s more of… Continue reading

Rate this:

Independence Day

BB (out of 5) Trite and dull science-fiction disaster film. President Bill Pullman has to pull together his best resources when it is discovered that aliens are on their way to attack Earth… Continue reading

Rate this:

Stargate

BBB (out of 5) Egyptologist James Spader loses the last of his grant money when the academic community tires of his theories involving pyramids and the aliens he believes built them. He has… Continue reading

Rate this:

Quest For Camelot (The Magic Sword)

0 (out of 5) Painfully awful, this is probably the worst big-budget animated feature ever made. It features, for your enjoyment, bad voice acting, lame animation (sometimes the characters lag, as if the… Continue reading

Rate this:

Species

BB (out of 5) Scientists biologically combine the DNA of a human with that of a newly discovered alien life form and come up with a supermodel who looks like Natasha Henstridge (makes sense… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Informant!

BB.5 (out of 5) No amount of knowledge about corporate greed or shady business conspiracies could possibly prepare you for this outrageous tale, based on a true story. Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon) is… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Ant Bully

BBB (out of 5) If you’re the member of the audience who laughs at lines like “I said cross your heart, not your butt!” being said by a child to an ant, you’ll… Continue reading

Rate this:

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

BBB.5 (out of 5) Jimmy Neutron is a precocious little boy who spends all his free time coming up with radically nifty inventions that make his life super sweet.  His exasperated parents, however,… Continue reading

Rate this:

Looney Tunes: Back In Action

BBB (out of 5) After movies like Space Jam and Monkeybone, the last thing we wanted any more of was live-action/animation combinations, especially ones with Brendan Fraser involved. How surprising, then, that this… Continue reading

Rate this:

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

BBBB (out of 5) Those furry little creatures are back, and they’re having even more fun than last time. Zach Galligan returns as the heroic owner of a Mogwai, an adorable little creature… Continue reading

Rate this:

Gremlins

BBBB (out of 5) The perfect way to entertain the kids: show them a horror movie that isn’t too horrific. The bad guys in this film are never particularly evil, just incredibly rude… Continue reading

Rate this:

Beauty And The Beast

BBBBB (out of 5) A masterpiece of animation. A retelling of the Madame LePrince fable (with many notable changes made), it mainly concerns a young woman named Belle who goes to live with… Continue reading

Rate this:

Aladdin

BBBB (out of 5) High-spirited Disney romp that takes much of its inspiration from Alexander Korda’s classic The Thief of Bagdad.  Aladdin is a poor young man who survives the streets of the… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Rescuers Down Under

BB (out of 5) Inferior sequel to the delightful 1977 original has the clever agents for the Rescue Aid Society being recruited to Australia to save a kidnapped boy. Little mice Bernard and… Continue reading

Rate this:

The Road To El Dorado

BB.5 (out of 5) Uninspiring animated feature will distract the kids but doesn’t qualify among the greats. Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh, both doing excellent voice work, play a couple of con artists… Continue reading

Rate this:

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

BB.5 (out of 5) More junk madness as the famous eighties toys return for their second sequel to the 2007 hit film. Michael Bay is once again at the helm of a loud,… Continue reading

Rate this:

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

B.5 (out of 5) What should have been an even more exciting sequel to the rather formless original is just more of the same garbage, with a plot that piggybacks its predecessor so… Continue reading

Rate this:

Mars Attacks!

BB.5 (out of 5) Somewhat fun but mostly ponderous exercise in silliness that even Tim Burton’s imaginative camerawork can’t improve. The mammoth cast, including Jack Nicholson (in two roles), Glenn Close and Annette… Continue reading

Rate this:

Alice In Wonderland (2010)

B (out of 5) Years after she originally fell down the rabbit-hole, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is attending a garden party where she sticks out like a sore thumb. She is nineteen but still… Continue reading

Rate this:

Jetsons: The Movie

BB (out of 5) The futuristic Flintstones come to the big screen nearly thirty years after they were first played on television, and they have absolutely nothing to show for it. In this… Continue reading

Rate this:

Mulan

BBBB.5 (out of 5) The best Disney animated film since Beauty and the Beast is this animated epic based on a Chinese legend. Mulan (voiced by Ming-Na Wen) is a young girl who… Continue reading

Rate this:

Caddyshack II

B (out of 5) Lame-brained sequel to the original comedy, which wasn’t all that great to begin with. This time it’s Jackie Mason who’s the focus of attention, as a “vulgar” new-money contractor who… Continue reading

Rate this:

Monkey Trouble

BB.5 (out of 5) Youngsters will no doubt be charmed by this cute little comedy, but adults will be bored stiff.  Thora Birch is adorable as a lonely little girl whose inability to be… Continue reading

Rate this: