The Cat In The Hat

0 (out of 5) It’s rather difficult to decide what’s the worst aspect of this dreadful adaptation of the popular Dr. Seuss novel. Could it be the painfully queasy production design that seems to have cost a bundle of money but at the same time looks incredibly cheap? Maybe it’s the disgusting screenplay that takes…

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Mirror Mirror

BBB (out of 5) Another reimagining of a fairy tale, this one looking to rehabilitate the passivity of Snow White in much the same way that Snow White And The Huntsman did the same year.  By far the more enjoyable of the two, it takes place in a snow-globe of a world highlighted by Eiko…

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The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996)

BBB (out of 5) Beautifully animated but overly serious Disney film loosely based on the classic Victor Hugo novel. The Hunchback (voiced by Tom Hulce) is now a lovable, cuddly guy living at the top of a cathedral who offers help to the sexy Esmerelda (Demi Moore) when she inflames the passions of a sexually…

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Buddy

BBBB (out of 5) Gertrude Davies Lintz (Rene Russo), upon whose autobiography Animals Are My Hobby this beautiful family film is based, is a rich east coast socialite who has populated her mansion and its extensive grounds with animals of all kinds. Inside her home she, along with her warmhearted husband (Robbie Coltrane), raises chimpanzees….

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The Back-up Plan

0 (out of 5) Every once in a while, you see a romantic comedy that makes you want to poke your eyes out with hot irons and cut your ears off with a buzzsaw. Jennifer Lopez very terribly plays a pet store owner who longs to have a child and has given up on waiting for…

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Star Trek III: The Search For Spock

BBBB.5 (out of 5) Explaining this film’s plot involves giving away the ending of Part II, so if you don’t want me to spoil it for you then just take my word that it’s a wonderful movie and go rent it. If you don’t mind the spoiler, however, I’ll tell you the basics of the…

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The Gun In Betty Lou’s Handbag

BB.5 (out of 5) Silly little comedy that begins with a mostly believable premise. Penelope Ann Miller feels so ignored by the people around her, including her distracted husband (Eric Thal), that she pretends to be the guilty party of an unsolved mystery in order to add some spice to her life. She is investigated, has…

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The Shadow

BB.5 (out of 5) Alec Baldwin plays the lead character, a superhero originally born on a famous radio program decades ago. The Shadow is a former druglord in the Far East who reforms, thanks to the help of an Asian shaman, then comes to New York to keep evildoers in line. Forming a network of support…

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Hudson Hawk

BB (out of 5) You’re better off watching a spoof of action movies like Hot Shots than watching a lame action film that tries to be funny and never succeeds. Bruce Willis plays an ex-con who has just been released from prison after ten years and intends to live a totally clean, straightforward life. His…

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Anaconda

B (out of 5) Laughably bad horror movie has documentarian Jennifer Lopez lead a crew through the Amazon only to have her trip interrupted by a giant river snake that eats her employees whole. Bad dialogue, embarrassing visual effects and weak (to say the least) performances abound everywhere, not to mention the fact that Lopez never…

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The Chipmunk Adventure

BBB (out of 5) Before they would be computer generated and shrunk to actual woodland size, the Chipmunk gang hit the big screen with an animated adventure inspired by their television show. Not wasting the opportunity that feature films offer, this is much more than an extended episode of the original series, taking the kids…

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Jumanji

BB (out of 5) Plodding children’s movie has Robin Williams and Bonnie Hunt reunite after being childhood friends many years before, reopening a dangerous exotic board game that features wild animals. The game comes to life and pretty soon the small town they live in is being stampeded by wild elephants, rhinoceroses and whatever else you could…

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