Red Planet Mars (1952)

HARRY HORNER Bil’s rating (out of 5):  0.5.  USA, 1952.  Melaby Pictures Corp..  Screenplay by John L. Balderston, Anthony Veiller, based on the play by John L. Balderston, John Hoare.  Cinematography by Joseph F. Biroc.  Produced by Donald Hyde, Anthony Veiller.  Music by Mahlon Merrick.  Production Design by Charles D. Hall.  Film Editing by Francis D. Lyon.   A scientist and his wife discover a method…

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The Men Next Door

0.5Guest House Films (out of 5) Ridiculous exercise in sexual fantasy masquerading poorly as comedy considering it is never funny or insightful. Doug lives alone and is distraught when the dinner party he throws for his fortieth birthday is ruined by all his invitees canceling on him for one reason or another. His brother sends…

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Larry Crowne

0.5 (out of 5) A film so disastrous it has to be seen to be believed.  Tom Hanks is a longtime employee at a Walmart-like store who is devastated when he gets fired due to downsizing, told that his lack of a college education is the reason why he has not been prioritized above employees with…

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Judas Kiss (2011)

0.5 (out of 5) Charlie David once had dreams of being a successful filmmaker but now, after rehab for drug addiction, makes his living filming wedding videos.  His big-time director friend convinces him to take his place at a film festival being held by their alma mater as part of a scholarship program that he himself…

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Impunity

0.5 (out of 5) South African Bonnie And Clyde with none of the style or intelligence, this one starts out trashy and only gets worse from there. A soulless boy and a troubled girl begin their mayhem when he saves her from being raped by a vicious barman and they kill the culprit. They jump…

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Marci X

0.5 (out of 5) Not even the presence of two adorable stars can help this abysmally inept comedy, in which Lisa Kudrow stars as a privileged Jewish princess who needs to step in and help the family business after her tycoon father (director Richard Benjamin) is taken ill.  The provocative lyrics of a popular rapper (Damon…

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Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild

0.5 (out of 5) While the original was badly produced, campy fun, this execrable sequel is simply bad. Retaining only one of the four original actors who comprised the film’s main cast, we catch up with Nico, Andy, Griff and Jarod after graduation and during their spring break. They have decided to take their vacation…

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Dream House

0.5 (out of 5) It’s hard to do worse than this thriller, producing few chills, rife with bad character clichés and a hackneyed plot that makes all its actors look incredibly brainless (they apparently agree, since the finished project resulted in all of the leads refusing to participate in any pre-release promotion). Likely the top-flight…

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The Campaign

0.5 (out of 5) A clever set-up with endless possibilities for sharp laughs is wasted on immature toilet humour in this brainless comedy. Will Ferrell plays an incumbent congressman whose election looks to be an easy win considering he has run unopposed so very many times. Greedy CEOs look to unseat him in order to promote…

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A Promise

0.5 (out of 5) A waste of time if ever there was one, from a director capable of far more and a cast of actors who are not usually this lifeless.  Patrice Leconte’s foray into English-language storytelling adapts Stefan Zweig’s novel to ill effect, as young Richard Madden begins working in the factory of ailing…

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Crank

0.5 (out of 5) It’s no surprise that there are movies out there that are basically the filmic manifestation of male adolescent fantasies, but there are limits to what a person can stand.  Jason Statham plays a tough hit man who wakes up in a hotel room and is told by his random Asian enemy that…

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Clash Of The Titans (2010)

0.5 (out of 5) The gods of Olympus created humans, but the love and adoration of humankind is what fuels their existence; ancient Greece is in trouble, then, when mortals become tired of their masters and decide to make war upon them, inspiring the wrath of Zeus (Liam Neeson) and even more ire from Hades…

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