The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror (2007)

JAYMES THOMPSON

Bil’s rating (out of 5): 0

USA, 2007. . Screenplay by Jaymes Thompson. Cinematography by . Produced by . Music by . Production Design by . Film Editing by . Podcast: Bad Gay Movies.

Five couples, three gay and two lesbian, arrive at a hotel in a remote, dusty Arizona wilderness to attend a circuit party that some of them will be performing at. The reigning Mr. Leather is there with his drag queen boyfriend, who is not happy when his partner starts making eyes at Eric, whose boyfriend Mike is equally put out by their attraction. Deborah and Gabby are there to sell their very expensive body paint, while Starr has accompanied her folk-singing girlfriend Brenda but isn’t giving her much support. Rounding out the cast are older sugar daddy Rodney, his young “personal trainer” Todd and Lizette, Mark and Eric’s “fag-hag” friend. All of them are at this run-down, crummy place because they didn’t book the more appealing venues early enough, and what none of them realize is that the inn’s pride flags are a ruse by the psychotic owner Helen to draw them into her lair where she will punish them for their ungodly sins. Unfortunately, Helen doesn’t have a handle on her children, neither her haunted repressed lesbian daughter Luella or her humanoid flesh-eating son Manfred, who gets out and begins to chew his way through the guests that Helen hasn’t already knifed and turned into mincemeat muffins. The actors do their best to have fun with a film that aims to be a midnight-madness cult classic, but ugly cinematography, absent direction and muddled plotting keep this from being in the least bit fun. The whole point of putting this many attractive people in a situation that will eviscerate them is to indulge in sex and violence, but director Jaymes Thompson is apparently too prudish for the first and doesn’t have the budget to go far enough with the latter.

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