D’Agostino (2012)


Bil’s rating (out of 5): 0

USA/, 2012. . Screenplay by Jorge Ameer. Cinematography by . Produced by , Zach Voytas. Music by , , . Film Editing by Jorge Ameer.  Podcast:  Bad Gay Movies.

As good an example as any of what happens when you put no psychology into an otherwise provocative narrative. Allan is a London financier in a miserable marriage who discovers that his grandmother has left him a property on the Greek island of Santorini. He flies south to explore his inheritance, hoping that he will be able to sell it, solve his money troubles and get right back home. Not long after arriving, however, he makes an unusual discovery: a naked, non-verbal man covered in dirt arrives at his doorstep. Allan discovers that the man, whom he calls D’Agostino because of the business card he finds on him, is a human clone who has been bred for organ harvesting and was being transported in a shipping crate that got loose and crashed upon the island’s shores. Unable to resist the opportunity this situation provides, Allan immediately turns D’Agostino into his human pet, keeping him chained to the wall and forcing him to lie on the floor. From there it’s a long slog to the end as a film that has up until this point been rife with bad acting, a lack of logic in the plotting and hideously cheap cinematography refuses to actually explore a situation that it circles around for almost an hour. We never actually witness the main character make a moral choice to treat D’Agostino so badly, nor do we clock an effect that it has on him or even determine what it is he wants (he doesn’t use D’Agostino either for labour or sex, so why does he have him chained to the wall in the first place). The concluding plot twist is beyond ridiculous, but it can hardly make a difference if you’ve even made it that far.

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