Bil’s rating (out of 5): B.
USA/Australia, 2016. Pyramania, Summit Entertainment, Mystery Clock Cinema, TIK Films, Thunder Road Pictures. Screenplay by Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless. Cinematography by Peter Menzies Jr.. Produced by Basil Iwanyk, Alex Proyas. Music by Marco Beltrami. Production Design by Owen Paterson. Costume Design by Liz Keogh. Film Editing by Richard Learoyd.
This one’s the Battlefield Earth of Egypt movies, a film so inane that The Mummy looks like serious research by comparison. In a land where gods walk among the mortals they rule over (they’re basically the same as us except way taller and their blood looks like you busted open a can of gold spray paint), Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is to be crowned king when his evil uncle Set (Gerard Butler) shows up, kills his own brother Osiris (Bryan Brown) and takes the throne for himself. His eyes plucked out and living in exile, Horus is sad and blue until a young man (Brenton Thwaites) hoping to resurrect his lost love restores one of Horus’ eyes and they set off to make things right. Bad action sequences and poor visual effects rob you of the few pleasures that could possibly make up for so much bad writing and acting, while Alex Proyas directs like he’s screwing it up on purpose to get back at someone. The predominately Anglo-looking cast playing Egyptians only contributes to just how laughable this one is.