JAMES NGUYEN

Bil’s rating (out of 5):  0

USA, 2010.  Expedition Films, Moviehead Pictures.  Story and Screenplay by James Nguyen.  Cinematography by Daniel Mai.  Produced by James Nguyen.  Music by Andrew Seger.  Production Design by John Davis.  Film Editing by Kim Chow.

There’s a level of bad that almost becomes masterful, and it’s impossible to really communicate the feelings caused by this film’s standard of storytelling.

A lingerie model and a software salesman meet and fall in love right before their town is taken over by killer birds, though it takes about an hour before you even get to the “visual effects”, the quality of which wouldn’t have passed muster in a fifties B-movie.

Presumably inspired by Hitchcock’s film (including giving Tippi Hedren cast credit for appearing on a television screen in the older film), this one also builds up story and character for a lengthy period of time before getting to the money shots but, given that the sound isn’t even properly recorded and shots are left running after the actors have clearly been told to cut, it’s safe to say that director James Nguyen doesn’t quite lay the solid groundwork that Hitchcock did.

If you’re watching it, you’re probably at a midnight madness screening of some kind, so take the judgment of this one’s poor quality as a recommendation (and given that it spawned a sequel, it is safe to assume it is popular for that very reason).

Don’t be surprised, though, if watching humans fail this hard eventually becomes impossible to watch.