Bil’s rating (out of 5): 0.
USA, 2014. Such Good Productions. Story by David Michael Barrett, Greg Sterling, Screenplay by David Michael Barrett. Cinematography by Pierluigi Malavasi, Dominique Muller. Produced by David Avallone, David Michael Barrett, Stewart Wade. Music by Jonathan Dinerstein. Production Design by Roman Udalov. Costume Design by Cari Avila. Film Editing by David Avallone. Podcast: Bad Gay Movies.
Randy Harrison and Michael Urie are a young, handsome couple who are randomly house hunting a Los Angeles suburb when they stumble into a party run by wealthy, philanthropic Scott Wolf and his wife. When Wolf and spouse go off to Bhutan to do charity work for orphans, they ask the two young men to housesit despite the fact that it drives a wedge between Harrison and his half-sister, who also had her sights on the property (the difference between housesitting and owning is murky in this mess of a screenplay). When Harrison and Urie find a stash of almost a million dollars hidden in the house they are guarding, it sets off a strange, barely comprehensible plot that involves kidnapping and murder and has some very strange ideas of how easy it is to deposit and withdraw large amounts of money from banks. Then there is the subplot involving a charity for porpoises. This movie is outright terrible, vacuous in its writing and the direction barely detectable, with insultingly disingenuous performances by the leads who cannot pull off playing airheads. That said, it is also so terrible that it is almost fascinating.