The Hobbit: The Battle Of the Five Armies (2014)

PETER JACKSON

Bil’s rating (out of 5):  BB.5.  New Zealand/USA, 2014New Line Cinema, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, WingNut Films, 3Foot7.  Screenplay by , , Peter Jackson, , based on the novel The Hobbit by .  Cinematography by .  Produced by , Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, .  Music by .  Production Design by .  Costume Design by , , .  Film Editing by .  Academy Awards 2014.

More bloated mayhem from the imagination of J.R.R. Tolkien as yet another trilogy comes to a close. The film opens with the messiness of Smaug setting Laketown on fire, which strands a group of humans and leaves them without homes, while in the distance Thorin Oakenshield () becomes ill with greed as he desperately looks for the Arkenstone that he believes is the greatest token of the dragon’s golden treasure horde. Wizards say ominous things and elves make grim faces because war is coming and no one can prepare for battle without having moments of self-important stillness, and we find ourselves wondering, exactly what book are these movies based on? I only recall a bunch of dwarves and their hobbit companion () drinking beer and singing songs, but Peter Jackson’s endless saga has gilded the lily with computer-generated lead. The actors are terrific, the visual effects even more so, but good luck trying to figure out what’s going on before the finale (and once you do, good luck caring).

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