Longhorns (2011)


Bil’s rating (out of 5):  B

USA, 2011.  Morning View Films.  Screenplay by David Lewis.  Cinematography by .  Produced by , .  Music by H.P. Mendoza.  Production Design by .  Film Editing by H.P. Mendoza.

College student Kevin can only enjoy sex with a female cheerleader if he imagines his male friend Justin riding him in her place.  It’s Texas in the eighties, so there’s no need to explain why he neither wants to come out nor is even fully aware that he is gay, an easy reality to avoid when your buddies think it’s cool to masturbate to straight porn together and even offer the odd helping hand.  Kevin feels himself pushed towards clarity when handsome and fully out Cesar shows up and charms his way into our hero’s bed, but kissing and affection are challenges to masculinity in a way that drunken blow jobs are not, so when Cesar wants to get serious, Kevin runs away to a cabin with his best buddies.  Caught somewhere between silly exploitation and disingenuous poignancy, this disaster is bolstered by good-natured actors doing their best to get through garbage dialogue and completely non-existent direction; there are actually scenes of performers staring blankly between delivered lines because there is no awareness of the rhythm of a real conversation.  If you’re hoping to enjoy it for the revelations of naked bodies, keep in mind that despite the odd gratuitous full frontal shot (provided you’re not watching the censored, blurred-out version on iTunes), the rewards are minimal in that department as well.

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