Bil’s rating (out of 5): B. USA, 2014. Cinema 175. Screenplay by J.C. Calciano. Cinematography by Pawel Pogorzelski. Produced by J.C. Calciano. Music by Christopher Farrell. Production Design by Heidi Strykiewicz. Costume Design by Yesenia Correa. Film Editing by Vahe Douglas. Podcasts: Bad Gay Movies.
J.C. Calciano follows up his abysmally weak eCupid with something marginally better, though that says very little in the way of recommendation. Two best friends, one a lover and the other a player, once made a pact that if ten years passed and the romantically hopeless Myles still didn’t have a boyfriend, Brody would give him his hand in marriage. Now it is one month away from the due date and Brody is starting to panic about giving up his lifestyle of perpetual one night stands, while Myles barely remembers making the deal and keeps setting himself up for disaster by going out on hopeless first dates. The old Doris Day comedies filled out their ridiculously perfect imagery of gorgeous people and stunning living spaces with plots that brimmed over with witty dialogue and clever twists; you didn’t mind that the entire thing was bullshit because bullshit is what was actually being celebrated, and indulgence of forced artifice was the motivation behind the entire thing. Here, Calciano has put together a cast of appealingly gorgeous people but created a host of characters who are either ridiculously broad (like Myles’ female colleague who never makes a single whit of sense) or simply bland (nothing that sparks up between any of the men palling around with each other is ever particularly fun or interesting).