(out of 5)
The good old horror-in-the-woods genre is flayed once again in this tired film. A group of college students, perky life-raft-breasted supermodels and fashion-ad pretty boys, celebrate the end of final exams by travelling out to a woodland cottage for a weekend getaway (not that it’s believable that any of them could ever write an exam). Imagine their disappointment when, after enjoying bouncy sex and sharing stupid stories about masturbation with showerheads, their dream becomes a nightmare as a flesh-eating disease is visited upon them one by one. The film boasts terrific production values, including shiny cinematography that is completely unlike the grainy camerawork that one usually gets in this genre, but the characters are flat clichés and the actors give lackluster performances. This sort of material should be treated with a stronger sense of campy fun, but instead there’s just a lot of profanity-laced dialogue that will find its way on to your last nerve. Despite being incredibly gross, it’s never scary, nor does it ever make a single iota of sense.
Directed by Eli Roth
Story by Eli Roth, Screenplay by Eli Roth, Randy Pearlstein
Cinematography by Scott Kevan
Production Design by Franco-Giacomo Carbone
Costume Design by Paloma Soledad
Film Editing by Ryan Folsey