Crank (2006)


Bil’s rating (out of 5):  0.5

USA, 2006.  Lakeshore Entertainment, Lions Gate Films, RadicalMedia, .  Screenplay by Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor.  Cinematography by .  Produced by , , , .  Music by .  Production Design by .  Costume Design by .  Film Editing by .  

It’s no surprise that there are movies out there that are basically the filmic manifestation of male adolescent fantasies, but there are limits to what a person can stand.   plays a tough hit man who wakes up in a hotel room and is told by his random Asian enemy that he has been injected with a poison that is on its way to his heart. The only way to slow the poison down long enough to give him a chance to survive is to keep his adrenaline up to the max, which means that, whether he likes it or not, he must indulge in reckless behaviour, high-speed car chases, sex in public and general all-around inconsiderate violence if he wants to stay alive. The trouble we have as an audience is that we don’t see why he deserves to; Statham is usually a likeable presence, a meat-head with a sweet, dopey attitude and an impressive physique, but here his talents fail to really make the character stick. The protagonist is rude, reckless, selfish and stupid, while as his girlfriend is a downright embarrassing mess, the both of them impossible to watch. This a sham from beginning to end that will only appeal to people who like their movies thoroughly mindless.

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