Bil’s rating (out of 5): B.
USA/Canada, 2007. Lionsgate, Karz Entertainment, Province of British Columbia Production Services Tax Credit, Alberta Film Development Program of the Alberta Government, Milestone Entertainment. Screenplay by Josh Stolberg, based on the short story by Steve Glenn. Cinematography by Anthony B. Richmond. Produced by Mike Karz, Barry Katz, Tracey E. Edmonds, Brian Volk-Weiss. Music by Aaron Zigman. Production Design by Mark S. Freeborn. Costume Design by Trish Keating. Film Editing by Julia Wong.
Dane Cook is utterly charmless as a bachelor dentist whose girlfriends begin to realize that after they break up with him they meet their true love and get married. Word of this gets around and pretty soon every single woman in the world wants to have sex with him in order to find Mr. Right. After shamelessly exploiting naked women for laughs, the film then does something even more outrageous and impossible to believe: it posits the laughable possibility that Cook could have any woman in the world and decides the only one for him is Jessica Alba. She plays a clumsy penguin pavilion employee who can’t keep out of harm’s way but can definitely avoid Cook; she’s just not ready for a relationship. The gratuitous nudity would be forgivable if the film was actually funny; the contrived plot would hardly be noticeable if the two stars had any talent whatsoever. Neither is the case, and the two of them are like watching a car crash about to happen when they’re on their own, then seeing it reach cataclysmic proportions when they’re together. Alba can’t pull of whimsical, she uses her wooden emotional range to just play stupid, while Cook couldn’t find quirky-sexy appeal if it bit him on the balls and held on for a week.