Bil’s rating (out of 5): B.
USA, 2006. Warner Bros., Virtual Studios, Radiant Productions, Next Entertainment, Irwin Allen Productions, Synthesis Entertainment. Screenplay by Mark Protosevich, based on the novel by Paul Gallico. Cinematography by John Seale. Produced by Mike Fleiss, Akiva Goldsman, Duncan Henderson, Lorne Orleans, Wolfgang Petersen. Music by Klaus Badelt. Production Design by William Sandell. Costume Design by Erica Edell Phillips. Film Editing by Peter Honess. Academy Awards 2006.
Well, at least this one doesn’t have the self-righteous preacher. This silly, unconvincing remake of The Poseidon Adventure features a new set of characters in the same situation as before: a rogue tidal wave hits a luxury cruise-liner on its way to New York and capsizes the entire ship, killing a large number of passengers and leaving the rest stranded in the grand ballroom on New Year’s Eve. One man (Josh Lucas), a professional gambler, decides that he isn’t going to sit around and wait to drown and heads for the bottom (now top) of the boat. A group of others follow him on instinct, beginning a complicated, dangerous adventure that sees them navigating a number of floods and fires on their way to safety. Cast members Mía Maestro, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss and Freddy Rodríguez don’t even bother to pretend they see anything in the material, giving lifeless performances as lifeless characters who are too familiar to be sympathetic. The story itself relies too much on clichés, some of them dull (mother and son perils ending in hugs) and some of them [spoiler alert] offensive (Latinos get to be kitchen staff or stowaways and die first). Great visual effects, but the film is about as lively as the dead junk the stars are navigating for two hours.