JOHN-PAUL DAVIDSON

Bil’s rating (out of  5):   B

Alternate title:  Gentlemen Don’t Eat Poets, The Grotesque

United Kingdom, 1995.  J&M Entertainment, Xingu Films.  Screenplay by Patrick McGrath, based on his novel The Grotesque.  Cinematography by Andrew Dunn.  Produced by Trudie Styler.  Music by Anne Dudley.  Production Design by Jan Roelfs, Michael Seirton.  Costume Design by Colleen Atwood.  Film Editing by Tariq Anwar, Tracey Wadmore-Smith.  

Sting looks a bit embarrassed to be in this terrible thriller-comedy produced by his wife Trudie Styler. Originally titled The Grotesque when it played film festivals (that’s also the name of the original novel), it was changed to Gentlemen Don’t Eat Poets for its theatrical release and then given the name Grave Indiscretion upon arrival on home video. Does a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Oh yes, and a terrible movie is a terrible movie no matter what you call it. A rich couple (Alan Bates, Theresa Russell) live in a giant manor while the husband pores endlessly over his study of dinosaur bones and the wife entertains herself with the sexy butler (Sting). When their daughter (Lena Headey) brings home a fiance (Steven Mackintosh), he threatens the closed world that the family lives in and immediately attracts the wrath (and sexual advances) of the jealous butler. Photographed badly on ugly sets, the film is boring and flat, and throws in a few lewd sexual events to hide the fact that the characters have no depth or attractive qualities.

Toronto International Film Festival:  1995