Bil’s rating (out of 5): BB.
USA, 2000. Comala Films Productions, Ostensible Productions, The Kushner-Locke Company. Screenplay by Bill Wilson. Cinematography by Vittorio Storaro. Produced by Paul Sandberg. Music by Ruy Folguera. Production Design by Denise Pizzini. Costume Design by Marilyn Matthews. Film Editing by Michael R. Miller.
Here’s a film that tries to be adorably weird but is just bad. New York-relocated-to-Texas butcher Woody Allen decides he’s had it with his philandering wife (an adorable Sharon Stone in an unbilled cameo), so he cuts her up into a zillion pieces and stashes the body far away. A blind woman walking through the desert comes upon Ms. Stone’s hand and it miraculously restores her sight. She takes it to a nearby town where it is placed in a church and answers the prayers of all those in need. Unfortunately Alfonso Arau’s direction is too disinterested to be charming, and the writing is way too silly to ever allow any puns against organized religions to carry any weight. David Schwimmer is his usual befuddled self as a misguided priest, and Maria Grazia Cucinotta is way too English-deficient to be good in her first major American role, which is a shame.